Gourmet Food on the Move!

Dim and Den Sum:  Two Men and a Food Truck!

Chef Gusteau

Jeremy Esterly (left) and Chris Hodgson (right) pose in front of their food truck (Credit: Janet Nguyen)

Imagine for a moment the answer to one of life’s more difficult situations; you don’t want to eat at home, and you don’t want to go out to dinner at a restaurant.  What are you left with?  How about the restaurant comes to you?  Now we are talking!  Mobile food carts, which have been popular in Boston, New York, Chicago and San Francisco, are making their way slowly to Cleveland.  Now although the first thought when hearing food cart is that of a hot dog stand, food carts really have come a long way.  In fact, you’d be impressed by the level of gourmet cuisine that you can find in these portable kitchens.

Cleveland now has its first official food truck under the new city regulations.  The chef owners are no strangers to Cleveland, or to great food done well.  Chefs Chris Hodgson and Jeremy Esterly now own and operate Dim and Den Sum.  As you might guess, Asian influences pervade the menu with inventive Dim Sum selections.  The food is reflective of cuisines from Japan and Korea, combined with the southern comfort food approach – comfort food with an Asian twist. Also, no menu item is more than $6.  This is a great deal considering the quality of ingredients and creativity of the food.

Chris and Jeremy worked together previously at Fire Food and Drink at Shaker Square, and knew from their first encounter that they would eventually open a business together.  Trust me; these chefs are very talented, inventive, and enthusiastic to bring mobile cuisine to Cleveland.  They will also focus on locally sourced food ingredients. From the picture above of their truck, you can’t help but conjure up childhood memories of the ice cream truck driving through your neighborhood, with children trailing behind hoping to get their hands on a Rocket Popsicle or Fudgesicle.  Look at this as the adult version of the same magical experience, and I expect you’ll see many people chasing this truck hoping to get their hands on a Dim Burger or a Kimchi dog!

Be sure to follow Dim and Den Sum on Facebook (facebook.com/dimndensum) and Twitter (http://twitter.com/dimanddensum) to see where they are and their next stops…you don’t want to miss out.  Their website is http://www.dimanddensum.com and they expect to officially launch the truck into action May 10, 2010.

Monsieur Anton says:  I think that mobile food carts are a great addition to the Cleveland culinary scene, at what better use of the carts than Dim Sum?  It is reminiscent of the carts that are pushed through the eateries in Chinatown bringing along little bite sized bits of goodness.  I think that this translates well to the food cart.  I am also happy to see that the first food cart to hit the streets under this new endeavor for the city is something of culinary worth, and not some run of the mill “roach coach.”  Well done Chefs Hodgson and Esterly. And start me out with some shrimp shumai and steamed buns!

Sake: The Other Clear Alcohol

By Monsieur Anton

Sake has been around since 4800 B.C., so why is it not more popular in the United States?  There are probably many reasons that may include cultural bias, lack of knowledge, and of course lack of marketing, but I have another theory.  Hot sake in sushi restaurants.

The stuff is terrible.   I’m not talking about a quality sake warmed properly, although the vast majority of premium (read; good) are served chilled, there are some sakes that can be drank warm, but not hot.  Remember, as James Bond said, sake should never be above body temperature.  The offensive sake I speak about here is the nasty variety served out of a box and dispensed by a machine.  This swill is awful, and sadly is the first and often only experience people have with this otherwise noble beverage.  In most cases when I give somebody a taste of a premium chilled sake it is a revelation to them. Their face lights up and I know I’ve got them. They are now sake people ready to explore the vast world of this mysterious beverage from the Far East.

People tend to be intimidated by sake.  They know nothing about it, and the names make French wines seem easy to pronounce, but once you start drinking it, sake is just like any other drink, the more you learn about it, the more you enjoy it.  A little background and you’ll be navigating sake lists like a pro.  Don’t worry; I’m not going to go into the science of brewing sake (at least not much).  I don’t expect people to go out and home brew sake, just empower them with knowledge, and that brings me to my first point.  Sake is often referred to as “rice wine,” and while that is a practical description because you drink it like wine, it is actually brewed much like beer is.

Sake is made with rice, water, yeast and koji.  Koji is steamed rice that has aspergillus spores added to it (sounds tasty, right?).  The koji then is able break down the glucose in the rice to create alcohol.  The rice and koji are added to the yeast and water and allowed to ferment for about 18-32 days.  It is then filtered and pasteurized.  Water is again added to bring the alcohol content to around 15%.  The sake is then aged anywhere from 6 months to 1½  years.

Much of the quality and characteristics of the sake comes from the amount of polishing the rice gets.  When the outer layers of the rice are removed, so are the undesirable starches and impurities.  The greater the milling rate means that the brewer is using more of just the “pearl” of the rice, resulting in a more nuanced, higher quality brew.  Sake made from rice that is milled to no more than 60% of its original size considered to be ginjo sake.  When the rice is milled to at least 50%, you have a diaginjo, and of course an even more delicate, high end sake.

Sake made with only the four core ingredients is classified as Junmai. The rice used in Junmai sakes must be milled down to no more than 70% of its original size.  Junmai sakes tend to be assertive and sometimes rustic sakes that match up with food very well.  When a sake meets this criteria, and the rice is milled to a ginjo grade you have a junmai ginjo which tends to be a layered, complex and fragrant; when milled to a daiginjo grade, the sake in your glass is a junmai diaginjo. Junmai diaginjos are generally light and fruity and extremely complex.  They are normally the sakes the brewer puts up as their best.  A grand cru of sakes so to speak.

When a small amount of brewer’s alcohol is added to a junmai sake, it now becomes a honjozo. This makes the sake more full-bodied and a good candidate for those who are intent on warming their sake.  It is taxed at a higher rate making its exporting to the United States a bit less prevalent.  It is also illegal to make in the US.

When the sake is not totally filtered you have nigori sake.   These milky sakes, with some exceptions, tend to be rather sweet.  Most all are thick and milky with a strong coconut milk quality.

Enough with the science of sake.  You want to taste the fine brew, and I can’t blame you.  When tasting sake, do it in much the same way you would taste wine.  First stick your nose in the glass.  Don’t be shy.  Get that shnozz deep in there and take a good whiff. The bouquet is a great preview of things to come.  Now take a sip and let it flow over your tongue allowing it cover all the areas of your taste buds. Is the   acidity balanced, or overwhelming?  Pay attention to the flavor components.  Is it bitter or tart, sweet or dry?

The dryness of sake is measured in the nihonshu-do, or as us New Worlders call it the SMV or Sake Meter Value.  The higher the plus number the SMV, the drier the sake will be.  The lower the negative number, the sweeter it will be.  Logic would tell you that 0 would be neutral sake, but as modern consumers tend to like drier beverages, sake producers have adjusted.  In reality a SMV of +2 should be considered the benchmark.

Enough already, it’s time to imbibe!  There are so many sakes to choose from.  Where does one start?  Lucky for you, I’ve drunk a lot of sake in my time, and I have some sakes to recommend. Some I do enjoy:

Wakatake “Demon Slayer” Diaginjo   SMV 0 The $45 or so this brew will set you back is money well spent.  Very well balanced with a hint of white pepper and a slightly sweet finish.  This a very well made sake.

Dassai No. 50 Junmai Ginjo   SMV +4 The rice in Dassai No. 50 is actually milled to diaginjo levels and it shows.  Why is it not classified as a diaginjo?  Who knows, and who cares?  It’s probably due to tax reasons.  I would say to just enjoy this well rounded sake made from the best Yamadanishiki rice.

Shoin Junmai Ginjo   SMV +3 The somewhat floral fragrance gives way to a balanced easy to drink sake with elements of granny smith apple.  This is an excellent food sake.

Ai San San Junmai Ginjo  SMV +3 Another balanced sake with crisp, clean flavors.  It runs toward the light side with a fine taste of steamed rice.  Very complex and satisfying.

Daischichi Kimoto Honjozo    SMV +1 A rich full bodied sake made using the painstaking traditional kimoto method.  This process results in an earthy quality with root vegetable notes.  A unique and food friendly sake.

Rihaku Dreamy Clouds Nigori   +3 I generally don’t like nigori or unfiltered sakes.  As a rule they tend to be cloyingly sweet with SMV’s of -20 or more.  Not this one.  Dreamy Clouds has a pleasing acidity, and a rich rice taste that is highlighted by a slightly fruity nuttiness.   There is a fun story behind this sake.  Rihaku was the name the Japanese gave to 8^th century Chinese poet Li Po.  It is said of Li Po that he could not write his poetry until drunk on sake or wine.  My kind of artist!

This is just a start.  The only way to learn about, and appreciate sake is to get out there and drink some.  Find a good sake bar, or retailer and sample some sakes.  Once you get an idea of what you like, you might want to try an online retailer to widen your options.

I often tell people not to stress when it comes to the often confusing world of wine tasting.  After all, it is just grape juice.  The same can be said for sake.  It’s just steamed rice.  Go out and try some.  Kampai!

Chef Gusteau says:  I love Sake!!  I will also be the first to admit, that Anton has taught me everything I know about sake…and he knows A LOT about sake!  I like to tell people who have never tried this type of sake (I will not try warm sake) to think about the smoothest vodka they ever tasted…and this is better!  The subtleties of sake are very similar to wine, and as such, the food pairing is just as much fun.

Obviously, whenever you have sushi, sake is a great accompaniment.  For every course before dessert, I recommend the drier sakes, +3 or more.  Although many people enjoy beers like Kirin Ichiban or Sapporo with sushi and Japanese cuisine, I recommend trying pairing this food with sake instead, which tends to compliment the food more than beer tends to.  You will be surprised with the new flavors you discover (and the fact that sake is typically 15% alcohol compared to beer’s 3-5%, you’ll feel much better, too!).  For dessert, a nigori or sweeter sakes are quite enjoyable as well.  As far as non-sushi types of food, the pairing can be a bit more challenging.  Italian food, such as, tends to be acidic in nature, and not generally conducive to sake pairing.  Chinese and Thai foods, with their spiciness and rich flavors match well with drier sakes.  French cuisine…sorry, go with Bordeaux style red wines, not sake.  Sorry Anton, I can’t even make that work.

Ok, now the fun part…cooking with sake!  Now, I don’t recommend using a $50 bottle of sake to cook with, but you certainly shouldn’t cook with anything you wouldn’t enjoy drinking.  Sake and Miso paste are the best combinations to make a great marinade for most white fleshed fish.  Usually a 2-1 ratio of sake and miso paste will get you great results (a bit of canola oil adjusts the consistency nicely).  When you do marinate fish with this mixture, you get two great benefits.  The first is clearly flavor.  The marinade adds a roasted sweetness to the fish…heavenly.  Next benefit is for “cheaters” who have trouble with overcooking fish.  Now I am sure that NONE of our At The Pass readers have this problem, but for those non-fans that do, you can tell them that while baking fish with a sake and miso marinade at 375 degrees, if they watch closely they will see that the marinade caramelizes just as the fish is done cooking.  If you see a nice toasted brown color on the fish, it’s done.  No need for “test cuts” or opening the oven every 5 minutest to check for doneness…not that anyone we know does that, right?  Oh, and the other benefit of cooking with sake…it’s unlikely that you’ll need much to marinate the fish…so drink up the rest to ensure that you get as “toasted” as the fish!  Enjoy…and be sure to send ALL of you sake related questions to Anton…he is without question an authority on the subject!

Anton says:  While I have total respect for Gusteau’s culinary expertise there is one small point that I will have to differ with him on.  Sake is an incredibly food friendly beverage, and that goes beyond sushi.  Canton native Beau Timpken, the owner of True Sake, the nation’s only dedicated sake retailer in San Francisco has put this to the test.  In his newsletter for his fine www.truesake.com website he has paired sake successfully with all manner of cuisine including French and Italian.  He has even gone so far as to sneak bottles of sake into McDonald’s!  While I’m not ready to eschew Bordeaux for sake with fine French food, a somewhat dry, nuanced sake with a well balanced acidity like Chiyomusubi Daiginjo would go nicely with French fare.  I would also never hesitate to pair sake with seafood of any cuisine.

TV Review: Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution

By Monsieur Anton

Reality television has a well founded reputation for being exploitative.  It is often the fast food of our culture, tasty and easy to consume, but with little to no substance and never really good for you.  Jamie Oliver‘s Food Revolution is at least a step toward making the programming more relevant.  Oliver would lead you to believe that this show has a mission, and that mission is a revolution, and it is, in as much as a television show about food can be.

Oliver has traveled all the way from his native England to the unhealthiest city in the United States, Huntington, West Virginia, to teach its residents how to eat properly.  In doing so, it his hope that the alarming obesity levels of Huntington’s populace will go down, and with it the many associated health risks such as diabetes and heart disease.  He bases most of his efforts on the children of Huntington, because as we all know, the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way!  I guess it’s too late for the hefty adults.  How about the concept of parents and teachers as role models?  Should Oliver ignore people just because they’ve attained puberty?

In fact, Oliver likely focuses his attention on the youth because the grown ups are largely too entrenched in their ways, like the radio host who mockingly retorts to Jamie, “what do you expect us to do, just eat lettuce?”  What Oliver would like them to do is to decrease the consumption of processed food, and dine on meals made from fresh ingredients, not an unreasonable task given the nutritional and culinary benefits.

To accomplish this goal, Oliver uses a three-pronged strategy.  He attempts to revamp the grade school lunch programs, focus on one family as an example, and set up a kitchen in Huntington to demonstrate sensible nutritional cooking.

The kitchen so far takes up the least screen time, probably because it is the most mundane.  As a focal point for the community, it is a valuable asset.  As television, it is uneventful.  It is more useful to pay more attention to the scenes that will tug on our collective heart-strings, and what could be more moving than an obese youngster facing impending diabetes.  Some of the most touching scenes are when Oliver attempts to get the morbidly obese Edwards family which strikes a stunning resemblance to Eddie Murphy’s Crump family, to change their eating ways.  Once the parents see that their food habits are leading their young son down the road to diabetes, well what parent wants to see their child sick?  Will this be the motivation needed to force them to eat more healthy.  Stay tuned.

The crux of the show’s focus, and Oliver’s as well is on the city’s school lunch program.  Oliver asserts that we are raising a generation of fat kids through the institution that is supposed to be looking out for them, our schools.  To this end  Oliver goes to work in a grade school attempting to upgrade the nutritional, and flavor aspect of the food served to its students.  Upon arrival, Oliver is appalled at the food being served to the young lads, with some glaring examples being chocolate milk, chicken nuggets and god forbid pizza for breakfast.  Now any fool knows that you shouldn’t eat pizza for breakfast until you’re old enough to use it as a hangover cure after an evening out during your college days, unless it’s one of these pizzas.

Oliver runs into some not unexpected obstacles in his efforts to feed proper food to the kids.  There are the skeptical uncooperative “lunch ladies,” the school administration, and most of all the kids who have been brought up to expect pizza and processed food in the cafeteria.  The hurdles Oliver faces are further complicated by the  bureaucracy of the school lunch program that among other things places certain restrictions on a bogus nutritional system, and most of all cost.  Here is where I’m going to get political on you, and ruffle some feathers along the way, something Oliver seems hesitant to do in this instance.

As a nation we have just gone through a drawn out, heated and divisive health care debate.  Sadly, the school lunch program was not a part of the health care bill that passed.  Michelle Obama has laudably made childhood obesity her signature issue, but even with her passion she didn’t get her husband to address the problem in the health care bill.  Well meaning people like Jamie Oliver can try all they want  to emphasize better food for children, but the reality is that better food costs more money.  As a nation we have to place a value on the health of our children, and in doing so their future health as adults.  Can you really put a price tag on the well being of your boys and girls?  In my mind this is not a financial issue, it is a moral one.  Nutritional meals in our schools come at a price, one that we cannot afford to not pay.

Jamie Oliver who has been dubbed “The Naked Chef” in his native Great Britain clearly has his heart in the right place.  He has fought this fight before in his home country, and has had some positive results, but can he be successful on this side of the pond?

One thing Oliver needs to be careful of is to not be too preachy.  It is clear that cares deeply about the subject, and who can blame him?  But like the cranky radio host we spoke of, none of us like to be preached to, especially from a foreigner.  Not only that, but it doesn’t make for good TV.  Americans don’t like to be told what to do.  The good news is that we have shown a proclivity to be brain washed by the boob tube.  If the mild mannered Brit can entertain us while he informs us, he may have a fighting chance.  In the meantime what we have is a rare instance of a reality show that is not exploitative, and has its heart in the right place, and that is to be applauded.

You can read more about Jamie Oliver’s attempts to improve nutrition in American schools and the nation as a whole at his website.  While there you can also sign his online petition stressing the need for better nutritional standards in our nation’s schools.

Chef Gusteau says:  I totally agree with the mission, or at least the intended mission, of this concept show.  I also understand that in a selfish way, this is great publicity for Oliver to add to his culinary empire.  Why so cynical Gusteau?  If you really wanted to succeed in this pursuit, here are some critical points that should have been noted:

• Partner with a knowledgeable and influential chef WITHIN the United States you Donkey!  Do you really think you won’t experience a little backlash when you come from overseas and begin telling people in West Virginia how unhealthy, lazy and obese they are?  Come on, you could have the cure for cancer, and if you don’t approach it the right way, you blow the whole mission!  Doesn’t he understand that this is NOT a new topic in the US?  Many chefs and nutritionists are fighting this same battle and have been for some time.  Coming here with a “Now here is how you do it” attitude isn’t helping anyone.
• Understand the local politics and economy.  Hate to say it, Jamie, but this is as much a political/economic issue as it is a health one.  Not to say that this is justified…it’s just the way it is right now.  Schools are under very serious budgetary constraints.  Sure, fresh foods and vegetables would be great, but they tend to cost more.  Additionally, you need more skilled cooks in the kitchen to work with raw foods.  Anyone can grab processed foods, toss them in the microwave and get them to the kids…these types of workers are of a much lower cost than experienced cooks that need to clean and cook raw foods for kids.  Whether or not fresh, healthy foods are better for the kids is not the main issue.  School budgets don’t have room for more experienced staff or better ingredients.  This is a fact right now…once again, I don’t disagree with the objectives; I just understand that it takes more than Jamie is portraying.
• Although focusing on school lunch programs is important, I believe that the bigger issue might be the food provided in children’s homes.  Think about it…kids like the cheap pizza and chicken fingers at school, so it makes sense for the school to serve these foods.  If the kids instead preferred chicken, salmon, brown rice and healthy soups, then schools would eventually have to alter their menus to meet this demand.  The question is, do kids eat like this at home?  Mine do, and it isn’t that difficult.  Does it take a little more time and money preparing these foods for your children?  Absolutely, but isn’t this worth it?  So a bigger, more pointed mission would be educating parents in how to prepare better foods at home in an economical fashion (both time and money).  Jamie does spend some time on this, but it needed even more emphasis.  Gusteau sounds crazy?  Not really…I actually offer cooking classes at my sons’ school for parents, teachers and their kids, to prepare better foods at home.  I may not have the global reach as Oliver, but I wonder if my success percentage might be slightly higher…

To the very least, Jamie Oliver is bringing more attention to this important topic.  But the solution will come from within the US, and from US families/parents.  We need to want to change, and practice the proper habits at home first, and then drive the forces at work (schools/government) to meet this new demand.  The biggest challenge is no one believes that we want to change.  Sound crazy?  Not really…go grocery shopping or to farmers markets and look at the crowds…then watch the lines outside a McDonalds, Chipotle, Taco Bell, etc.  In one fist we pound the tables demanding change, and in the other we have a handful of greasy fries.

Culinary News of the weird and Useful: March 26, 2010

by Monsieur Anton

Why is this gin different from any other gin? Ah, the culinary delight of the Passover Seder. The light, fluffy matzo balls in the savory chicken broth, the roast chicken, the matzo, the macaroons, all washed down with the syrupy sweet Manischevitz wine. Well there’s something else to wet your whistle this Passover. Normally many liquors are not kosher for Passover because they contain grain. Distiller No. 209 has introduced a Passover-friendly gin with a sugarcane vodka replacing the usual grain base. Additionally they had to replace he prohibited cardamon with California bay leaf giving the gin a slightly sharper taste. A bottle will set you back $39.

Monsieur Anton says: Now that’s one Seder I want to be at. Can we replace the four glasses of wine required during the ceremony with four martinis? And before you ask, yes there is a kosher for Passover vermouth made by Kedem.

Chef Gusteau: Still trying to get a handle on the whole Passover tradition and keeping kosher. I do like the idea of a martini over that “wine”, but not sure if I’d be ruining it all (Passover that is) by dropping blue cheese stuffed olives in the martini. At that point, screw it and give me the scotch.

Dear Lord, can you super size me? A study by Brian Wansink, the director of Cornell University‘s Food and Brand Lab finds that the depiction of the portions served in artistic renditions of The Last Supper have increased over time. The study, co-authored with his brother Craig, a biblical scholar, studied 52 versions of the iconic religious painting. They found that the size of the plates increased over 65%, the size of the entrees on the plate grew 70%, and the bread portions were up 23%. They used the size of the apostle’s heads as a reference point for their finding which were published in the International Journal of Obesity.

Monsieur Anton: Who knew Morgan Spurlock was a prophet and that McDonald’s was a place of worship? Would you pass the communion fries please?

Chef Gusteau: I’m just waiting for someone to notice the glass of Coke, or the martini (see above) with olives, next to the pager with ESPN sports ticker on it. If you look closely, you can see the Duke T-shirt under Jesus’s robe…because he is a Blue Devil fan as everyone knows.

Gourmet matzo to go with that Passover martini. New York Times food writer Mark Bittman has fashioned a Passover-friendly matzo based on a Sardinian flat bread carta musica-sheet music. The flat bread replaces the yeast (forbidden during Passover) with olive oil. Whether it is truly kosher for Passover is questionable.

Monsieur Anton: Who cares if it’s kosher for Passover. It has to be better than the usual flavorless cracker. Pass me an olive oil matzo to go with my No. 209 martini!

Chef Gusteau: See why I don’t get Passover? Just look at the food below…it doesn’t scream “eat me” but rather, “you want to know about suffering and cutting back, eat this stuff.” I understand the importance of tradition, but at some point someone had to realize that making this all look and taste better isn’t such a bad thing. When I see someone lathering up a piece of Matzo with jelly, I have to think, “friend, there’s got to be a better way, that just looks plain goofy.”

Everything’s bigger in Texas. The Cowtown Diner in Fort Worth, Texas is serving up a meal that has

been certified by The Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s largest chicken-fried steak. The entree checks in at ten pounds and is served with six pounds of mashed potatoes and a loaf of Texas toast. The meal which is around 10,000 calories sells for $69.95, but is free if you you finish the whole meal, which nobody has been able to do. Cowtown’s owner Scott Jones admits that the meal “was never intended to be serious.”

Monsieur Anton: That’s a lot of bull! I’ve been known to put away a lot of food in my day, but my arteries are begging me to not even attempt it. As a side-note, instead of an after meal dinner mint, they give you a month’s supply of Lipitor.

Chef Gusteau: Do chickens even have ten pounds of meat on them? How the hell are you getting a single filet that big? And if you did, I have to think that the chicken-fried steak preparation of it would be the equivalent of eating a shovel full of lard and chasing it down with a big tall glass of melted butter. Sounds tasty, right?

Mama Mia, that’s a spicy meatball! Not to be outdone by the Cowtown Diner, staff and students at Glen Oaks Community College in Sturgis, Michigan attempted to make the world’s largest meatball. About 327 pounds of beef chuck was seasoned and cooked for 32 hours and was taken out of the oven and placed on to a scale with a forklift. The final product weighed in at 400 pounds. The first 250 pounds were cut up and donated to Meals on Wheels, with the rest served to the audience of 400 people. The whole project did not totally succeed. The inner part of the meatball failed to reach the required 160 degrees meaning it was not fit to eat, and thus not counted toward the record. Organizers cut around the undercooked area and served up 254 pounds of meatball, which would be a record by 30 pounds. Certification by Guinness awaits.

Anton says: Does anybody else think Alka Seltzer should revive their classic spicy meatball commercial. At least this publicity stunt was for a good cause. This just in. The Cowtown diner is planning a 700 pound bowl of spaghetti.

Chef Gusteau: Now, just look at that picture closely. Sorry to get gross, but it looks like King Kong took a dump in the room. Who the hell would eat that??? I don’t know how they got the internal temperature of that big boy either…did they tape a thermometer to a javelin and throw it in? I appreciate it was all for a good cause, but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that even Meals on Wheels clients said, “Sorry, man, but I’m not that hungry to eat that mess.”

Preheat the Nintendo. Nintendo is coming out with a new game for its Nintendo DS platform. America’s Test Kitchen, Let’s Get Cooking is due to be released soon. The game includes 300 recipes and is light on the play aspect, and heavy on culinary minutiae.

Anton says: Screw the game. Just get the kids in the kitchen and cook with them. We’re raising a generation of video game addicts who live their life through a video screen. Make the kids get out and play sports, and yes cook.

Chef Gusteau: Agree with Anton on this one. Kids will learn the love of food and cooking through examples set within the family. I understand that kids love video games and the thought of reaching them through that avenue seems obvious, but unless the game involves slaying beasts made of hamburger (or giant meatballs from Texas), they won’t play it, and thus won’t learn about cooking…or worse, think cooking is boring. Cook with your kids and see the satisfaction in their eyes as they create with you.

Saturday March 26^th…National Spinach Day

Sunday March 27^th…National Spanish Paella Day

Monday March 28^th…Something on a Stick Day

Tuesday March 29^th…National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day

Wednesday March 30^th…Turkey Neck Soup Day

Thursday March 31^st…Tater Day

Friday April 1^st…National Sourdough Bread Day

“I’d get stabbed in this country if I charged that! Even if the chicken had its arse wiped every day by the farmer and they said its feathers were shampooed by John Frieda – I’d be shot.”

• Gordon Ramsay on Overpriced Chicken.

Kitchen Nightmares Recap and Review: Le Bistro

By Chef Gusteau

Has Gordon finally met his match? In this episode Gordon goes head to head with another stubborn, outspoken and rude French trained chef from Britain, who apparently is destroying his restaurant located in Boca Raton Florida. French, British…in Boca Raton…not sure that sounds like a natural fit does it? Another thing that doesn’t fit…these two chef egos in the same kitchen. Throughout the episode we see the two go at it, typically with Gordon taking the bigger hits, which was amusing in of itself. What wasn’t amusing, however, was how Chef Andy treated his employees, his wife and even his guests. Many clips show him telling everyone to “F-off” and when a guest complains about the temperature of their filet, he responds with a casual “F-him.” How nice indeed.

Right from the beginning I felt a cringe of the pain to come. Chef Andy’s wife Elin answers the phone at the restaurant warmly, and then the scene cuts to Chef Andy grabbing a bell (the large kind you see during Christmas time that carolers shake during performances; you know, the large ones you could knock out a reindeer with?) from the pass and ringing it to get someone’s attention while he stands at the grill. What’s that? I have heard of yelling to get someone’s attention, but ringing a bell? Does the local bellhop come by to help with the expediting or something? During the pre show interviews, Chef Andy is heard saying “I can run rings around anyone in the kitchen…I know everything about everything.” He actually says this with a straight face! Now, granted he was a chef at a Michelin Star restaurant in France…but come on! You’re just asking to get slapped at that point…and Gordon is the man to do it. My favorite Chef Andy quote: “The last thing I want to do is close the restaurant and go to work for some idiot. I hate idiots.” Don’t we all.

The show begins typically, with Gordon coming in to visit for the first time. Talk about making a bad impression. Gordon walks in during a cooking class that Chef Andy is hosting with many guests. He casually sits down and begins to make fun of Andy’s technique and food with the other guests. As you might guess, Andy notices and takes issue with Gordon. Hate to say it, but I agree with Andy on this one. These are paying guests for the cooking demo and Gordon walks in like he owns the place. Show some respect and decency…humiliate in private and praise in public…isn’t that the saying?

In any case, we learn that Chef Andy and Gordon had worked at the same Michelin star restaurant (at different times…those two in the same kitchen at the same time is scary), yet clearly their paths have changed since then. Gordon asks Chef Andy to show off and cook for him. I am sure everyone knows what comes next, as Gordon proceeds to hate everything that Andy touches, and later criticizes him for not listening to his waiter when constructive criticism is sent back to the kitchen. At this point, Gordon attacks three major flaws that he sees about Chef Andy. Number one, Andy doesn’t seem to care about his guests. He cooks the food his way and to his liking, regardless if it even doesn’t fit the local tastes (like curried lamb and coconut in Florida)…and if they don’t like it, “F-them” is his response. In one funny clip, we actually see Chef Andy telling his wife to tell a guest to choose something else from the menu after the guest reported not liking the way he prepared a particular dish! Next, Gordon wants Andy to allow his sous chef to do some of the cooking. We learn that Andy does ALL of the cooking and plating, and his sous chef merely grabs produce and meats from the cooler and gets it ready for Andy to cook. Finally, and Anton will love this one, only the waiter named Alex takes the guests’ dinner orders for the whole restaurant! Apparently this insanity was created by Chef Andy so that it deliberately slows down the pace at which tickets come into the pass. Why? So Chef Andy, who does all the cooking, can keep up with the orders. Absolute insanity.

To address the caring about guests’ feedback, Gordon has the dinner guests fill out a questionnaire as they leave. As you might guess, pretty dismal results. Later, Gordon takes Andy and his wife Elin on a boat, seemingly for a bit of relaxation, and then surprises him by taking him down in the cabin, where more “ex-guests” are waiting to provide more feedback. Andy each time demonstrates his lack of concern for what anyone has to say. Funniest comment there was when one guest says that the bistro was dark and gloomy and while eating, he felt everyone was staring at him. Andy, truly grasping the hidden gem behind that comment responds with “What are you looking for, naked women dancing on tables?” Astonishing.

Riding on that wave of success, Gordon then addresses the cooking issues. He first gets the sous chef, Hendrick, to cook at least one item. Hendrick will be in charge of cooking that night’s special, pan seared red snapper. We quickly realize that the sous chef is quite good, and more than anxious to begin cooking. Andy, on the other hand, is less enthusiastic about the move. Oh, did I mention that Gordon also has two waiters taking orders that night? Prepare for dinner “rush” Andy! During that night’s dinner service, Hendrick’s snapper is getting rave reviews, but Andy and the rest of the menu aren’t doing as well. And then Gordon does the cruelest thing, although both funny and informative, that evening. As Andy falls behind on the dinner tickets and wait times exceed 70 minutes, Gordon runs next door to another restaurant and gets a takeout dinner. The process takes 10 minutes, and then Gordon shares the meal with Elin. Both realize that the quick takeout food was quite good…almost too good. Sharing this tidbit with Andy at the end of the night totally breaks Andy. Now time for the building back up…cue Gordon’s overnight makeover team.

The next day, waking up to a new restaurant design, and a new menu designed by Gordon, with no input from Andy, Andy and Elin prepare for a new path for Le Bistro. The new menu showcases local flavors, smaller portions, and quicker cook times, all to help out Andy. To add to any pressure, Gordon has invited all the high profile VIP’s, celebrities and food critics for dinner. Dinner service starts out well, and some food makes it out, but suddenly as the pressure builds, Andy starts to shut down again and resorts to previous bad habits. Quickly Gordon pulls him aside for a “pep talk”…or yelling at a “Donkey” as the Brits would say. To his credit, Andy comes back and gets his act together and has a great dinner service.

Fun episode to watch, and very interesting to see a chef so similar to Gordon in many ways. I think another interesting point was that I never once questioned Andy’s ability to cook. When some of the dishes came back from the guests, they actually looked fine. In the case of the filet that was medium rare and the guest wanted medium, I admit that the filet looked great to me. So really the issue was that Andy needed something to rejuvenate himself and to lose a little of his control over others. That said, no chef likes to give up control. He said it at the beginning, “this is my food and my reputation.” Now he has something to be proud of.

Monsieur Anton says: “Humiliate in private and praise in public?” I like that! I resolve to never again humiliate Gusteau in public. Ah, who am I kidding?

This episode to me illustrates to some degree what you see from many neophyte chefs straight out of culinary school. The school provided them with all these great techniques and tools, and an appreciation for fine cuisine, and you want to show it off, the customer be damned. The chef knows what is good, and the customer must be educated at all costs. While this can be excused for the newly anointed young chef, there is no excuse for an old hand like Andy. Let me scream this so there is no escaping my message. YOU COOK FOR THE CUSTOMER YOU &*#@*?* DONKEY! The chef that cooks to his own taste exclusively will soon be serving a party of one.

One interesting point that was demonstrated in this episode is that service takes place not only in the dining room, but also in the kitchen. If the kitchen is not getting the orders out in a timely manner, and of a quality to please the guest, than nothing the server does will leave the customer with a fine dining experience. That is kind of the message of At the Pass. The chef (back of the house) and the manager (front of the house) working together. Now if we could just get Gusteau on board with the concept (“Praise in public, humiliate in private? I kid. I’m a kidder).

What exactly is the idea behind only one server taking the orders? Is it because you want to show off all the free bread you’ll be giving away while the “diners” wait. “Diner” is in quotes because nobody getting a whole lot to eat at Le Bistro. Chef Andy wants to slow down the guests because he is doing all the cooking and relegating his sous chef to pulling food from the walk in. Do you know who pulls the food in many kitchens? The dishwasher! Hendrick is an overpaid porter. Andy may have worked in some fine kitchens, but I’ll tell you right now, no one chef can handle a busy dinner service doing all the cooking themselves, not even Gusteau.

What amazes me about Andy is that he has any staff at all. The way he barks out orders, and leaves his servers and his long suffering wife out to dry with the customers is shameful. Exactly why do they stay there, let alone his poor wife Elin who seems like a charming, lovely lady who probably needs the number a good divorce lawyer.

But this is Kitchen Nightmares and we know the routine. Somewhere around 50 minutes after the hour, the obstinate chef will see the light, and the error of his ways, there will be a successful dinner service at 55 minutes past the hour, and at 58 minutes after the hour Ramsay will walk down the street expressing hope for the restaurant.

The 20% Solution?

by Monsieur Anton

Many restaurants automatically add a gratuity, be it 18% or 20% to parties of 8-10 or more. This surcharge is a way for the restaurant to safeguard against their servers from being stiffed by large parties. This becomes an issue for servers because when they are tied up with large parties, they are normally unable to take other tables. If the large party leaves a small, or god forbid no tip, the server has worked for little to no wages on that evening. The automatic tip is the house’s way of looking out for their employees, but that could end if a Maryland lawmaker has her way.

Baltimore City Democrat Cheryl Glenn has introduced a bill to the Maryland General Assembly that would make such fixed tips punishable by a fine of up to $5,000. The first offense would receive a warning. The second infraction results in a fine of up $500. The third, and all subsequent occurrences triggers the big money fine.

Glenn insists that it is a consumer protection issue, and on the surface it is hard to argue, but is it? Where does consumer protection end, and free market begin. After all, nobody is forcing the diner to patronize a restaurant that practices automatic gratuities. As long as the policy is clearly outlined, is it government’s job to protect diner’s from such charges? If legislation is really needed to protect diners from themselves, maybe McDonald’s should be outlawed.

Let me preface my position by stating that when I was a server, I never added the automatic tip. I felt confident in my own abilities, and in turn it usually worked out in my favor, but that was me. As a manager, I’ve seen many able servers stiffed on both small and large tables. It is the big ones that hurt though, because they account for large chunks of dough at a time.

Tipping is a hot button issue. The last time I raised the subject on this blog, it produced some heated comments. I contended then, and nothing has happened to change my view, that most diners do not know the difference between good and bad service. If you have not worked in the business, can you really be sure that the bad service you get is the result of an indifferent wait person, or an overwhelmed kitchen? I maintain that very few customers can truly tell beyond doubt where the fault lay, so why punish the sub-minimum wage employee?

I’ve seen many a patron take out bad food on the server. Why should they tip 18% for an overcooked steak, or because they had to wait 45 minutes for a table? Don’t think it happens? Try working for a week in a restaurant. The way to handle this situation is not to take it out on the server, who in Ohio is payed $3.65, but to raise your concerns with the manager. In most cases management will address legitimate complaints by “comping” an appropriate amount of the meal, or otherwise compensating you. If they do not, then you’ve got a gripe with the establishment, and can, and should respond accordingly by taking your business elsewhere.

Restaurants do have a responsibility to clearly state their policy on tacked-on gratuities. When you order a meal at a dining establishment, you enter into an unwritten contract. If government wants to really look out for consumer protection, then I have no problem with requiring restaurants to post their policy either at the door, or on the menu, or both. Most eateries that have such policies already do that. If the diner has any questions, they should ask the server or manager for clarification.

Equal protection under the law is a principle we all learned in grade school Social Studies, so how about some protection for the servers? The restaurant industry represents four percent of the nation’s workforce. Compare this to the auto industry, which received government bailout protection, and accounts for roughly three percent of the workforce. How about bailouts for the servers who get stiffed by big parties?

Chef Gusteau says: Definitely a tough topic. As a guest, I felt bothered by seeing the automatic tip on the bill. I knew how to tip appropriately, so that might account for the sense of disgust. Also, I hoped that the server wouldn’t slack off since they knew that regardless of the performance, they were getting a 20% tip. On the other hand, running a large table is a lot of work and coordination…just think how many times they come to the table. Inevitably at least 40% of the guests begin asking for extra drinks, sugars, more napkins, etc. Tough work. As far as punishing the server for back of the house issues (kitchen issues, heaven forbid!), a skilled server will know how to handle that in such a way that they neither bash the kitchen, nor make ridiculous excuses. A simple “Sorry, but the kitchen has been particularly busy this evening, and is working hard to get your food done to our Chef’s satisfaction. May I bring you some bread or additional drinks in the meantime?” works wonders.

Another big issue is whether or not the server acknowledges the automatic tip. I am sure there are some servers out there hoping that their large party gets all “drunk and goofy” and doesn’t notice the automatic tip, hoping to get an additional tip on the bill…netting a total tip of 40% or something. I know it’s buyer beware, even in restaurants, but it seems wrong to take advantage of the guests that way. I always tip extra when the server acknowledges the automatic tip as a reminder and expresses their hope that everything went well with the meal.

In summary, I don’t mind seeing an automatic tip, nor do I think it wrong for an establishment to utilize one for larger parties. In most cases, the server clearly works harder and forgoes smaller tables with faster turnovers. I truly appreciate servers that acknowledge the automatic tip as both a reminder as well as a point of honesty. Finally, your server must have been pretty awful if you have an issue with a 20% tip, regardless of the party size.

Culinary News of the Weird and Useful: Reality TV Edition

Gordon Ramsay Watch At the Pass’ favorite reality TV whipping boy Gordon Ramsay has been a busy boy.  In addition to FOX renewing Kitchen Nightmares for a third season, it appears Gordo owes $377,887.77 in back taxes for the failed Gordon Ramsay New York. That didn’t stop him from shelling out for a little cosmetic surgery.  At the urging of Simon Cowell he had laser surgery to even out his wrinkly chin.

If that’s not enough Ramsay news for you, vandals have hit his London home with some R rated graffiti, writing “Gordon is s**t!” and “Ramsay is a douche.”

Monsieur Anton says:  This makes me feel absolutely civilized in the way I make fun of Ramsay.  It is good to see however that Gordon is making himself more telegenic for the renewed Kitchen Nightmares and his other boob tube projects…and for the tax judge!

Chef Gusteau: At what point will Gordon be doing an episode of Kitchen Nightmares concerning one of his own restaurants?  A little self-deprecation might suit him well.

Who Wants a Reality Show The roster of food based reality shows is on the rise.  CBS has green lighted “Beat the Chefs,” where home cooks will take on professional chefs in a cooking competition.  The amateurs, along with a staff of friends and family will attempt to cook the same dish as the pros with a cash prize at stake.

Not to be outdone, NBC has a new show in the works.  America’s Next Great Restaurant, hosted by Bobby Flay challenges amateurs to come up with a restaurant concept that they feel is the next big thing.  They will be judged by a panel of investors and restaurant professionals who will invest their own money to make the American Dream come true.

Monsieur Anton:  Soon everyone will have their own reality show!  Seriously though, the Next Great Restaurant is intriguing.  I’ve got a feeling it is time for Gusteau and I to get our business plan together for a chain of At the Pass Cafes.

Chef Gusteau:  Chef pros against home cooks…beware of this one.  First of all, being a chef is NOT just about cooking great food.  It’s about organization, consistency, execution and leadership.  The typical home cook might be great at several dishes, but that doesn’t mean they can run a restaurant, guide a host of chefs towards completing a dinner service, etc.  This is an interesting concept for a show, where obviously the excitement will be watching the chefs lose to grandma’s apple pie or something.  Will I dare watch an episode?  I’d rather cook with my boys at home so they could beat Bobby Flay someday.

Now about Bobby Flay and the newest of his TV shows.  Doesn’t this show concept seem familiar to that inventor/investor show called “Swimming with the Sharks” or Shark Tank or something?  Guests would come in with an idea and a panel of “experts” would determine if they would invest in the idea or not.  By now people have to understand that even a great idea isn’t nearly enough.  Neither is a boat-load of money.  It’s about hard work and persistence, and a gluttony for punishment and pain.  Now make that a show…how much abuse can a guest take before giving up?

As far as a chain of At the Pass Cafes…has a great ring to it.  But how’s this for a bonus.  Each guest gets a heavy sauté pan and one swing at either Bobby Flay’s head or Rocco DiSpirito’s.  You knock them out, dessert is on us.  You wound them severely, I’ll throw in an appetizer.  You make them howl like Nancy Kerrigan, dinner is on me.  I can see the line outside the door now.

Rock On Rocco Reality show reject Rocco DiSpirito says he owes his career as a chef to 70′s rock gods KISS.  It seems Rocco was trying to build up his record collection, and chanced upon a career.

“As a child growing up in the Seventies, I was big time into Kiss. Their album ‘Love Gun’ came out when I was around 11 years old, and I had to have it. I asked my Mom for the money to buy it, and she said to me (in thick Italian accent) “You want the money? You got to get a job.” I didn’t even know I could get a job at that age.”

And the rest as they say is culinary history!

Monsieur Anton:  Me, I was into The Who, and I found smashing dishes was cheaper than smashing guitars.  And the rest as they say is definitely not culinary history.

Chef Gusteau:  What parent lets their 11-year-old get a job, let alone listen to Kiss and Love Gun?  I guess I am a bit old fashioned on that one…but I didn’t miss the mark on his getting a job…he’s still looking, right?  He could always land a job at At the Pass Café catching sauté pans (See Above).

British Food Celebrities Got Talent Piers Morgan of America’s Got Talent, and the second most irritating British judge on television behind Simon Cowell has written a list of “100 British Celebrities that Matter, “ and a few TV chefs made the cut.  The highest rated was Jamie Oliver (new reality show coming up next week) at 11.  Gordon Ramsay checked in at 54, Nigella Lawson at 64, Marco Pierre White at 69, and Delia Smith at 69.

Monsieur Anton:  Gordon Ramsay at 54?  Doesn’t Piers read At the Pass.  Gordon has to be much higher.  In related news, Anton has listed Piers Morgan at 102,423 on my list of celebrities that matter.

Chef Gusteau:  I assume Piers made it to the top 5 on his own list?  I guess the bigger question would be who really cares about British Celebrities?

Dude, You’re Getting a Dell Padma Lakshi of Top Chef has been out and about with her newborn baby daughter Krishna.  Lakshi has been quiet as to the identity of Krishna’s father, but the New York Post is reporting that the father is venture capitalist Adam Dell, brother of Dell Computers Michael Dell.  The website reports that Lakshi 39, and Dell 40 are working out visitation rights.

Monsieur Anton:  Any story that elicits a picture of Ms Lakshi is fine with me.  Seems like young Krishna has hit the jackpot with Padma’s genes for looks, and all the Dell Computer money.  Not bad.

Chef Gusteau:  I thought the Daddy would be Chef Colicchio or something.  Wouldn’t that be a scary looking baby?

Sleeping with Paula Deen Is there nothing that southern belle chef Paula Deen will not pimp? The Food Network star has teamed up with Serta to roll out a line of Paula Deen Mattresses.

“You can definitely tell that these mattresses have been inspired by my life in the South and my home in Savannah, Ga.,” said Deen. “The collection is all about feeling good, comfortable and getting a good night’s sleep in one’s home. And just like my food, I send you comfort and love from my home to yours.”

The mattresses will run from $799 to $1499.

Monsieur Anton:  OK, I’ll eat Paula’s food, but no offense Ms Deen, I really don’t want to even think about you while I’m in bed.  Now if Padma Lakshi came out with a mattress…

Chef Gusteau:  Mattresses? You’ve got to be kidding me? How about a line of moonshine…someone had to have had tons of it to think her ass selling mattresses was a good idea?

Friday March 19^th …Poultry Day

Saturday March 20^th…Bock Beer Day (Anton took the day off…hint hint)

Sunday March 21^st…National Ravioli Day

Monday March 22^nd…Coq Au Vin Day

Tuesday March 23^rd…National Chip and Dip Day

Wednesday March 24^th…National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day

Thursday March 25^th…Waffle Day

Irish Beers for St. Patty’s Day

by Monsieur Anton

Once again, St. Patrick’s Day is upon us. What began as a religious holiday in Ireland, has become a day of drunken debauchery first in the United States, and now in countries across the globe. Who says America does not have a positive cultural impact on the world?

For one day, all the world is Irish, or at least they drink Irish. So, if you are going to drink like an Irishman, it behooves you to know how to drink like one, and that begins with beer. The Irish love their beer, and Americans have come to love it too. Every city and cow town has an Irish pub or two, and in that pub you’re sure to find some fine Irish pints. On St. Patrick’s Day, please eschew the Bud Lite for something that invokes images of the Emerald Isle. After all, you wouldn’t drink Manischewitz on Christmas!

Irish beers come in four basic varieties, stouts, lagers, ales (usually red) and pseudo Irish beers that are produced outside of Ireland, many times under auspices of an Irish brewery.

Stouts

Guinness Guinness is the most well known stout in the world, and more than a few revelers will be lifting several pints of the legendary brew on March 17th. Guinness is a dry beer that uses toasted barley to acquire its distinctive burnt taste. The infusion of nitrogen give the beer a rich, creamy head. It is slightly bitter and a good example of a traditional stout. It’s not St. Patrick’s Day without a pint of Guinness, or even a Black and Tan.

Beamish Brewed in County Cork (you can’t get more Irish than that) Beamish is a medium to full-bodied, toasty stout with hints of coffee. It pours with a rich, creamy head due to the added nitrogen. It is fairly smooth and flavorful. Beamish finishes slightly sweet and nutty.

Murphy’s Irish Stout While still dry, Murphy’s is sweeter and lighter than it’s more traditional brethren. It is malty with a slight chocolate flavor. It is very drinkable, and is very lightly carbonated with a mildly bitter finish.

Lagers

Harp One of the finer mass produced lagers on the market, Harp is brewed by Guinness. It is light gold in color and has a nice bready, malt taste with a slightly hoppy, bitter finish. Crisp and light-bodied, it is easy to drink. If you plan to go to the St. Patty’s Day parade, and continue to drink throughout the day, this may be a good option due to the light nature of the beer.

Kinsale It is written that Kinsale beers were given to the troops during the Battle of Kinsale in 1601 to help fortify them. These days it will only fortify your buzz. Light and crisp like many mass produced American lagers, this would be another beer to quaff throughout the festivities.

Ales

Caffrey’s Like some of the stouts, Caffrey’s comes loaded with nitrogen. Due to the nitrogen, the beer pours cloudy, and then clears up to a light golden color as the nitrogen dissipates. The gas gives it a creamy start that changes to a slightly sweet, mild bitterness as the beer opens up. A good food beer, this would go well with your corned beef.

Smithwick’s Reddish brown with a rich malty head, it is light-bodied, with nutty butterscotch and fruit undertones. It finishes lightly hoppy with a slightly bitter aftertaste. A good representation of an Irish red ale.

Murphy’s Irish Red Not as accomplished as Murphy’s Stout, this is still a respectable, if not spectacular brew. It is light with a grainy, almost cereal like taste. Not terrible, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it.

Pseudo Irish Beers

Killian’s Irish Red Probably the lightest of all the beers mentioned here, this Coor’s produced beer has become quite popular on this side of the pond. It has a malt accent which belies its light flavor. For the price it’s not a bad beer. Copper colored it is malty and not at all bitter.

Samuel Adams Irish Red Sam Adams has long mass produced beers with a micro-brew mindset, and this is no exception. It has a full flavor accented with hints of chocolate, fruit and biscuits. It finishes dry and malty.

Great Lakes Conway’s Irish Ale We’d be remiss if we didn’t represent with the pride of the North Coast, Great Lakes. Their Irish Ale offering Conway’s does not disappoint. It is slightly sweet and toasty with and is creamy and medium-bodied. It has a mildly sweet and hoppy finish. Like many of Great Lakes beers it comes in with a hefty (for and Irish ale) 6.5% ABV.

Before we go,  a few things we should point out to help you not look like an amateur at the pub:

1) By no means should you expect your bartender to etch a shamrock into the head of your Guinness draft. It’s just plain silly and does nothing to make the pint taste better. All it will do is slow down the bartender on one of his busiest days of the year and piss him off, and a pissed off bartender is not someone you want to be around.
2) Don’t forget the whiskey! Irish whiskey is a wonderful thing, and it is somewhat milder tasting than many other whiskeys, so drink it straight. Some brands to look for are the venerable Jameson’s, Bushmill’s and my personal favorite Tullamore Dew.
3) Have a Black and Tan. Layer your Guinness with an ale. A skilled pub bartender can do this for you. Layer it with lager and you have a Half and Half.
4) Irish Car Bombs are for college kids and idiots. An Irish Car Bomb is when you drop a shot glass of layered Bailey’s Irish Cream and Irish whiskey into a pint of Guinness. Now why would you want to ruin good whiskey and beer like that? Not to mention that the name of the drink is in bad taste.
5) Finish the night with a nice Irish Coffee. Add some Irish whiskey to your hot coffee and top it with some whipped cream. It won’t sober you up at the end of the night, but it is a nice civilized way to end your St. Patrick’s Day

However you celebrate the day, enjoy yourself and please be responsible. We professional drinkers will likely be abstaining from drinking, and leaving it to the other 364 days of the year to imbibe, and we don’t want to share the roads with amateur drunks, although you’re probably weary from dealing with us the rest of the year.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

Chef Gusteau: It’s great to have Anton back!! And best of all…the topic is alcohol…how perfect. Now, it is unfairly noted that Irish cuisine is so horrible that the whiskey is the drink of choice to drown out the bad flavors. I agree that the wonderful beers listed above are perfect for celebrating the best day of the year, but the cuisine to partner with these beers doesn’t have to be so complicated. Two words. Roasted meats. Think of how heavenly a Guinness would be alongside a perfect roasted corned beef or lamb stew! How about Potato Duchesse with roasted mushrooms and caramelized onions served with a Conway’s Irish Ale? For dessert, how about a Bailey’s infused Crème Brule with a glass of Jameson’s? Irish cuisine is about simple, decadent flavors that slowly developed, and are casually enjoyed with friends and family. It’s all about taking the time to enjoy time with loved ones, and celebrating the rest of the year to come. Don’t let the name fool you, Chef Gusteau is 50% Irish! Have a safe day, and enjoy with friends and family…because on March 17th, we all have a little Irish in us! And if Irish eyes aren’t smiling, drink more whiskey.

Culinary News of Weird and Useful: February 12, 2010

Building better bodies the beer way A study done at the University of California Davis exposits that beer is good for your bones.  The study shows that many varieties of beer contain high amounts of silicone, and a nutrient that helps build strong bones.  The study’s findings suggest that moderate beer drinking can help prevent osteoporosis.

Monsieur Anton says:  My mother told me to drink milk for my bones.  Forget the milk, pour some brew!  I woke up this morning with my back aching, and when I read this I passed up my morning coffee for another kind of brew.

Chef Gusteau: Why the study is not disclosing is that it was funded very heavily by Anton himself, in the hopes that he could justify his obsession with good brew.  On a serious note, I find it amusing with all the health trends and studies over the years (Atkins, South Beach, etc) that what finally washes out is the realization that everything in moderation appears to be the best course of action.  Shouldn’t be a surprise, really.

We thought you drank to forget Another study, another reason to drink.  Studies in both Sweden and Denmark have found that drinking wine can reduce the chances of diseases such as Alzheimer’s that can cause dementia.  The Danish study found that people who drank wine regularly were up to two times less likely to develop dementia.

Monsieur Anton:  And I thought I was always drinking to forget.  See, two postings about the benefits of drinking in one glorious week of Culinary News of the Weird and Useful!  Gusteau likes to give me a hard time about drinking, but I’ll have the last word when we’re both old and grey, and I have strong bones and a razor sharp memory!

Chef Gusteau: Ok, I funded this study!  I have 2-3 glasses nightly, so that puts me on mensa level most likely!  Yes, that talk of everything in moderation doesn’t apply to me.  As far as old and grey, I am already there Anton!  There are many benefits to a glass of red wine nightly, and the list of benefits keeps growing.  Need any more reasons to enjoy life more, one glass at a time?

Critic gets a hair ball A Village Voice was curious to see if Purina was really practicing truth in advertising when he saw a can of Fancy Feast Yellowfin Tuna Florentine.  A Tuscan style cat food seemed yummy, but when he put it to a taste test, he found that the “gourmet cat food” was just rather bland, and not at all Tuscan, or gourmet.

Monsieur Anton:  Now this is a writer who is dedicated to his craft.  Don’t expect tasting notes on cat chow on At the Pass.  Actually, bland is better than I thought it would be.  I’ve always wondered how companies can claim specific flavors in cat and dog food. Really, who was going to try it to make sure what was in the can was what they claimed on the label.  Now we know.

Chef Gusteau: My god, he ate cat food for research?  What, now is he going to sue Purina for false advertising?  People at Purina probably took side bets on the likelihood that people, not cats, would be eating this stuff.  This is cat food! Keep in mind “Fluffy” licks himself daily, not sure Tuna Florentine, bland or not, is worth the time or money.

The doctor is in Chef Jacques Torres compared chefs to various medical specialties. “If you look at the medical profession, the chef is in the emergency room. You see the chefs really reacting to the service and dealing with what’s going on at the moment. The pastry chef would be the knee guy or something. You cannot bake a cake by the time a customer sits. You can assemble desserts, put whipped cream and berries together, but it takes a lot more planning.”

Monsieur Anton:  Calling Dr. Gusteau!  I have a bad case of hunger pains.  I’ll take the analogy a step further.  If the chef is the doctor, then the bartender is the pharmacist dispensing bottled prescriptions.

Chef Gusteau:  Funny, I would have thought that Pasty Chefs would be Proctologists – everything they do goes straight to your ass!  Actually, another interesting thought on this was provided by my wife.  She thought it funny that students can attend medical school and graduate, without ever seeing a patient, and be referred to as “Doctors” yet a student can graduate culinary school and be lucky to be referred to as a “Cook,” let alone a “Chef.”  Interesting, but certainly indicates that Chefs are clearly better than Doctors in every way…so there!  In any case, pretty useless analogy by a great pastry chef.

I love you with extra cheese and pepperoni Papa John’s is offering special heart shaped pizzas through Valentine’s Day.  The tagline for the promotion is, “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love means never having to eat an overpriced, mediocre Valentine’s Day meal at a crowded restaurant surrounded by strangers.”  How romantic.

Monsieur says:  I’m guessing the guy that buys this for his wife or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day is definitely not getting lucky.  Hey pepperoni breath, you’re sleeping on the couch!

Chef Gusteau:  That promotion tagline is a bit long, huh? Won’t see that on any T-shirts or bumper stickers.  Oh, and it was dumb as well.  If your date gets you this pizza, dump him/her!  You can make awesome pizza together at home (which I assume is where you planned on eating this goofy pizza in the first place, to avoid the public ridicule you’d deserve for even ordering this foolishness).  Cooking together is fun, romantic..and if you make a mess…can be very sexy as well.

Who’s got two seats at the chef’s table? The National Restaurant News is reporting that an Atlanta  man has been charged with scalping high end restaurant reservations.  The website reservations911.com has been taken down.  Using a variety of aliases and phone numbers, the nefarious webmaster booked Valentine’s Day reservations in prime spots in Atlanta, Miami, Napa and New York City’s hottest eateries. He then auctioned them off for $50-$100.  The effect is that many of the restaurants had turned down legitimate reservations thinking that they were booked.

Monsieur Anton:  Everybody’s a scammer.  What scares me about this is that this cyber method of slipping the maitre a de twenty under the table can actually be a business model that restaurants may adopt.  Now that they know there is a value to a reservation on special occasion nights, they may charge a premium for the privilege of dining there.

Chef Gusteau:  Refer to Anton’s previous post on technology and the Food and Beverage Industry for some of the background on the technology that has led up to this craziness.  I still believe that regardless the restaurant, any quality Chef will tell you that it is their privilege to serve you, and that such a premium is counter to a properly run establishment.

Friday February 12^th…National Plum Pudding Day

Saturday February 13^th…National Tortellini Day

Sunday February 14^th…National Crème-Filled Chocolates Day

Monday February 15^th…National Gumdrop Day

Tuesday February 16^th…National Almond day

Wednesday February 17^th…National Cabbage Day

Thursday February 18^th…National Drink Wine Day

Chef Gusteau:  I will not be doing any posting on February 18^th – I will be supporting National Drink Wine Day to the best of my ability!

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw

The Ten Best Drinking Movies of our Generation

By Monsieur Anton

Just as food is an essential element in cinema, drinking on celluloid has been around since the silent film days.  Back in the day W.C. Fields became the patron saint of drunkards and proved that booze could get you a hottie like Mae West.  Throughout the golden age of Hollywood, with political correctness not yet invented, alcohol on the big screen was prevalent, even more so than now.  Movies were alcohol soaked.

The flicks being shown in the current generation, with some notable exceptions, tend to be comedies, since drunks are funny.  Also the prevailing attitude is to not glorify drinking as movies did in the old days.  What was cooler than Humphrey Bogart seducing Lauren Bacall over cocktails?  These days political action groups are doing all they could to dissuade the influence of alcohol on our culture.  While I understand that, whatever happened to moderation, or for that matter dramatic license?  Movies when done best reflect society, and despite watch dog groups, Hollywood has managed to make their fair share of drinking related movies.  I just wish they would more often use cocktails as a backdrop for serious matters, and not just adolescent drunkenness.  There is a way to address the issue responsibly.  That said, as the aforementioned Mr. Fields showed us, a funny drunk is priceless.

For movies to be included in this list, we’ll make the cutoff point 1970.  Arbitrary yes, but we have to start somewhere.  While there are probably many smaller independent or foreign movies, this list is dominated by movies that had a wider release.  Why?  Because those are the movies I’ve seen!

10) Arthur (1981) Dudley Moore is a millionaire drunk.  Is there any better kind to be?  When he falls in love with the poor Liza Minnelli, he must decide to sacrifice his fortune or pursue love.  Any guesses to which he chooses?  All involved give good performances, and Arthur is rarely seen without a drink in his hand, but Sir John Geilgud steals the show as Arthur’s butler/father figure.

9) Swingers (1996) Jon Favreau breaks up with his girlfriend in New York and decides to head to Los Angeles to pursue his career in acting.  Along with his friend played by Vince Vaughn, they become immersed in the neo-hipster underground lounge movement, and many times way over their heads.  The two losers spend pretty much the whole movie in bars trying to act cool.  A cult favorite.

8) The Hangover  (2009) A drinking movie in which you never see anybody drink, just the effects of the evening before.  The central characters can’t even remember their binge or where the guest of honor of his own bachelor party is, but through the movie, the evening’s events unfold.  Throw in a great cameo of Mike Tyson singing In the Air, and it’s apparent, a good time was had by all.

7) The Big Lebowski (1998) Jeff Bridges is spot on as “The Dude” in this Coen brothers cult favorite.  The Dude wants nothing more than to drink his omnipresent White Russian and have someone pay to clean his rug.  Of course it gets more complicated.  The White Russian is so prominent in the movie that Big Lebowski parties are held and White Russians are the evening’s refreshment.

6 ) My Favorite Year (1982) Best Peter O’Toole…movie…ever.  O’Toole plays a parody of the roles he had been starring in for years, this time as a Hollywood star in the Errol Flynn mold who is to appear on a show that is a thinly veiled version of Syd Ceasar’s Your Show of Shows.  The terror of live television and the pain of the consequences of a former love drive him to drink with touching and hilarious results. O’Toole utters one of the funniest lines ever while drunkenly urinating in the ladies room he responds to a woman telling him that “this is for ladies only,” by saying “so is this ma’am, but every now and then I have to run a little water through it.”

5) Sideways  (2004) If you ever had to pay too much for a bottle of Pinot Noir, blame it on Sideways. Wine snob Paul Giamatti takes Thomas Hayden Church to California’s wine country for his bachelor party.  Material that can come off as trite is redeemed by a wonderful performance by Giamatti.  At its core Sideways is about a common man trying to be a better man, and elevate himself through love and finer pursuits, and there is enough wine snobbery to appeal to Gusteau.

4) Barfly (1987) Charles Buckowski once wrote “If you’re losing your soul and you know it, then you’ve still got a soul left to lose.”  Fortunately, Buckowski still had enough of a soul to write the screenplay for Barfly which is pretty much the story of his life.  Mickey Rourke is in fine form as Henry Chinaski who is basically Buckowski.  Chinaski alternates between drinking in a Skid Row bar and writing wonderful prose.  Wanda, played by Faye Dunaway comes into his life, and while not as down and out financially as Hank, emotionally she is his equal.  This movie reeks of atmosphere, as Hank and Wanda are rarely seen without a drink in their hands.

3) National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) The movie that spawned countless toga parties may be one of the all time funniest flicks ever.  The guys at the delta house are there to do one thing and one thing only…drink.  Ok, two things…chase women.  The movie that made John Belushi a star is raucous fun, and may be the ultimate party movie.

2) Any James Bond Movie I’m cheating a bit here, but any list, with any rules cannot exclude the patron saint of the cocktail culture.  Perhaps one of the most often heard terms at any cocktail party is “shaken not stirred,” and while it can be trite, no words ever sounded cooler when they came out of 007’s mouth, and since the franchise continues to this day, I’m going to make an executive decision and deem James Bond eligible for the list.

1) Leaving Las Vegas (1995) This movie certainly doesn’t glorify drinking.  Nicolas Cage won an Oscar for his portrayal of a man who attempts to solve his problems by moving to Las Vegas and drinking himself to death.  His long, slow decline is interrupted only slightly when he improbably finds love with a kind, lonely hooker played by Elizabeth Shue.  A grim, dark movie, it is our generation’s answer to Billy Wilder’s 1945 classic The Lost Weekend. This movie should come with a warning not watch it when you are depressed.  The results could be disastrous.

Just to prove that the movies celebrated inebriation pre-1970, here are some old school drinking movies to look for:

The Thin Man (1934), A Streetcar Named Desire (1951), Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf? (1966), Days of Wine and Roses (1962), Cat Ballou (1965), Casablanca (1942), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), My Little Chickadee (1940) and The Pharmacist (1933).

So what’s your favorite drinking movie?  Pour yourself one on the rocks and let us know.

Chef Gusteau says: My goodness Anton…you have seen a lot of movies!  Granted, as they all involve alcohol, I shouldn’t be so surprised!  Although I have only seen Arthur, Bond, and Animal House, I absolutely loved Sideways.  In between the comedy and the personal rebuilding each character had, there were some wonderful parts in which the fascination and beauty of wine are described.  Wine truly is alive in ways no other beverage can claim.  When drinking wine, you can’t help but take pause and think of the time and effort involved in creating the delicious elixir, and truly enjoy the finer, more beautiful things in life.    And to quote the movie, “It tastes so f’in good.”

Not that I cared for the movie, but I am sure some could claim that Cocktail belongs on the list.  The movie certainly spawned the habit of eager bartenders across the country throwing bottles around like lunatics in order to impress their drunken guests.   Personally I was hoping that someone would crack Cruise over the head with one of the larger bottles, but alas no such luck.   And though it kills me to suggest it, I expect that some would argue that the Sex in the City movie further influenced the presence of Cosmopolitans in many a woman’s hand.

In any case, when you are armed with a great drink in hand, any movie can be a great drinking movie.  And if the movie isn’t enjoyable, grab another drink or two.  Have a great weekend, and be sure to look for Anton at your local watering hole!

Tastemakers: Where are They Now?

by Monsieur Anton

In May of 2008, Cleveland was emerging on the culinary landscape.  No longer was the North Coast nationally known as a city where pierogies and White Castle passed for fine dining.  Six months prior, Michael Symon had won a Food Network competition to become an Iron Chef, and his notoriety had shone a spotlight on the other wonderful chefs in Cleveland.

This attention led Cleveland Magazine to do a feature on the chefs they named as the “Tastemakers” for the region.  These were chefs, profiled by John Long, Laura Taxel, Douglass Trattner and Michelle Venorsky that raised the bar for our local culinary scene, placing C-town on the map.  As we enter the new decade let’s take a look back at how these chefs have done since then, and look forward to the future.

Jonathon Sawyer The Pennsylvania Culinary Institute graduate had stepped out of the shadow of his former employer Symon and was doing some exciting things at Bar Cento.  His simple food done well, along with tasty upscale pizza brought life to West 25th.  He has since left for greener pastures, The Greenhouse Tavern to be precise, which he opened to rave reviews, being named one the “Top 10 New Restaurants” in the country by Bon Appetit. He has led the charge for sustainable ingredients with The Greenhouse Tavern being named Ohio’s first certified green restaurant.  Sawyer has certainly worked his way up to be considered one the area’s signature chefs.

Michael Symon What can be said about Cleveland’s Iron Chef that hasn’t been said before?  He is the face of the region’s culinary scene on the national level.  At the time of the article Symon had Lolita in Tremont and had opened Lola on East 6th.  Since then he has opened Bar Symon in Avon Lake and the B Spot in Woodmere along with incarnations of those two eateries in Quicken Loan Arena.  He’s even ventured into that state up north with the award winning Roast in Detroit.  Somewhere in between all of that he appears in his role as Iron Chef the Food Network show while developing new programming for the network.  His first cookbook Live to Cook was all the rage with foodies this past holiday season.  Through it all this Prince of Pork has stayed true to his Cleveland roots, always finding time to make local appearances while staying connected to his restaurants.

Dante Boccuzzi The time since the article was written has been trying for the talented Boccuzzi.  He had taken over Lockkeeper’s in Valley View.  Upon leaving that spot and ceding it back to the previous owners he set upon opening Restaurant Dante in an old bank building in Tremont.  Things did not go smoothly for Boccuzzi with restaurant issues taking a back seat to cancer.  After a long fight the cancer is gone and despite many delays Restaurant Dante has opened to huge crowds.  Through it all Dante has displayed the culinary skills honed working under famed chef Charlie Palmer.  With a clean bill of health, things are looking bright for the rock and roll chef.

Steve Schimoler Schimoler may be Cleveland’s version of Alton Brown merging science and food to a delicious end.  Schimoler has also been a leader in using locally produced food in his restaurant Crop Bistro.  His innovative vision never loses site of the basic rules of fine food and respect for the ingredients.  He has established an online farmer’s market Localcrop.com to link local growers with cooperative on-profit venture to promote the Cleveland music scene.  Other more media conscious chefs may get more notoriety, but few have given back as much to the community than Schimoler.

Heather Haviland Every good roster of chef’s needs a great pastry chef and that is where Heather Haviland comes in.  The self taught Haviland opened Lucky’s Tavern in Tremont and became known for her luscious pastries and homemade lunches.  Another avid proponent of locally grown food, Haviland has since branched her operation out to the east side of town’s Larchmere District with the Vine & Bean Café expanding her offerings to dinner time.  The Vine & Bean in a converted Victorian home has been a hit with foodies and critics alike drawing numbers of fans for the Sunday brunch.  Perhaps nobody in town has done so much with such small spaces as Haviland.

Rocco Whalen One Cleveland’s most recognizable chef’s, Whalen struck an imposing figure.  The large, bald owner/chef of Fahrenheit in Tremont has shed quite a few pounds while adhering to a healthier lifestyle.  Luckily his food still tastes as it good as it ever has.  Rocco’s fine fusion cuisine with a strong Asian influence has landed Fahrenheit on many critics’ top restaurant lists.  He has carried the torch for the local restaurant scene being very visible both in town and national events such as representing Cleveland in the Taste of the NFL event in which he is in South Florida doing as we speak.

Annie Chu Sun Luck Garden in Cleveland Heights defines the word unassuming.  This little gem in a small strip regularly puts out some of the best Asian food to be found in these parts.  Owner/chef Annie Chu is not shy about taking traditional Chinese dishes and infusing elements of other cuisines.  She is one of the most unheralded chefs in the city.  Chu had to close down Sun Luck Garden for awhile last year as she battled health problems.  As a show of solidarity, a who’s who of Cleveland chefs bonded together for a culinary event to benefit Chu.  Happily both Chu and Sun Luck Garden are both on their feet again.

Doug Katz One of the city’s most popular chefs, Katz launched the renaissance of Shaker Square’s food scene with Fire Food & Drink.  Fire may be one of the most consistent local eateries both from a commercial and culinary standpoint.  As standing president of Cleveland Independents, Katz drew national publicity taking on CNBC’s Suze Orman who urged people to not go to restaurants for a month to save money.  Katz rightly pointed out in an open letter published in newspapers across the country that doing so would cripple one of the nation’s largest industries.  Fortunately people found Katz more credible than Orman.

Eric Williams Williams’ Ohio City Mexican restaurant Momocho spawned a new modern element on Mexican food and in doing so took the cuisine to another level.  His dishes have a complexity not usually found in food from south of the border.  Williams has since gone on to buy the Happy Dog hot dog joint in Gordon Square that features dozens of gourmet toppings for the franks and live music.  Hey, if Michael Symon can open a hamburger place, Williams can do hot dogs.

Jonathon Bennett Through attention to detail and an innovative palate Bennett made Moxie a destination spot for foodies.  He is able to blend various cuisines together to create stunning plates that dazzle the eyes and taste pretty darn good too.  The extended run that Moxie has had is a testament to him.

John Kolar Kolar took fine dining to Medina County.  He established his global culinary vision working under Doug Katz, and famed Manhattan chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten before being the opening chef at Three Birds.  Venturing out on his own he took a chance that fine dining would be well revived away from the core of the restaurant scene.  Because of his talent as a chef, it has.

Karen Small Smalls Ohio City bistro has established a loyal following based on its eclectic atmosphere and quality food.  Her dishes can change with the seasons but always reflects an adherence to tradition country cooking; and I mean that in the best way.

Marlin Kaplan If longevity determines the quality of the chef, then Marlin Kaplan is right up there.  Previous to the Cleveland Magazine article Kaplan had paved the way for others opening Marlin’s on East 6th at a time when nobody was taking a chance on downtown.  His faith was rewarded as it became the spot for power dinners among the city’s elite.  Then came One Walnut on East 9th, and with it Kaplan’s continued growth as a chef.  Then, as the article was coming out Kaplan took a chance on another neighborhood that others had eschewed, the Gordon Square district at West 65th and Detroit with Luxe.  Luxe has been a lightning rod for development in the area, and it may very well be the next trendy food spot in town, and it will owe much of it to Marlin Kaplan.

Shawn Monday Probably the least widely known chef on the list Monday opened Downtown 140 in Hudson with his wife Tiffany to rave reviews.  If they were in a trendier or even closer location, he would be much more well known.  His take on small plates with variances on Asian influences as well as unique flavor combinations has netted wonderful results.

Zach Bruell Along with Kaplan the elder statesman of this list, Bruell has fronted a string of successful restaurants dating back to the 80’s with Z Contemporary Cuisine.  He has remained a busy man.  Back in 2008, Bruell was riding high on the popularity of Tremont’s Parallax, and shortly after the Cleveland Magazine article, Esquire magazine was named one of the nation’s “top 20 new restaurants.”  Not resting on his laurels, nor a one trick pony, Bruell has since opened L’Albatros, a French bistro in University Circle, and in the last couple of weeks Chianto , a high end Italian concept on East 4th.  He is undoubtedly the busiest chef in town this side of Michael Symon.

Brandt Evans Evans is a big guy who tends toward big flavors at Blue Canyon in Twinsburg.  He has also established himself as a mentor to younger chefs.  After making a name for himself at Kosta’s the former Tremont eatery Brandt went bigger and bolder with Blue Canyon, and it has paid off.

It is interesting to look back on these chefs in the time since Cleveland Magazine wrote the article.  All of the chefs are still on the scene, quite remarkable given the volatility of the restaurant business in current economy.  Some of them such as Symon, Bruell, Williams, Kaplan and Haviland have expanded their brand with additional venues.  Others like Boccuzzi and Sawyer have opened up their own places.  This says a lot about the Cleveland market.  As depressed as the economy may be Clevelanders are embracing their newfound reputation as a culinary hotbed.

Another thing that stands out when looking back on the list over the perspective of time is the shifting geography of the scene.  Once centered on Tremont as the crown jewel, restaurant districts are popping up on East 6th, Shaker Square, University Circle, Gordon Square, Ohio City, the Warehouse District and points beyond, even in neighboring counties.

Looking forward, what chefs should be on future lists?  I’ll start off the discussion with Sergio Abramof of Sergio’s and Sarava (he probably should have been on the 2008 list), Matt Fish of Melt, and Fabio Salerno of Gusto, Grotto and Lago.  Who do you see for future lists?

Chef Gusteau: Definitely an impressive list of culinary talent.  Alas you will not see Chef Gusteau’s name on such lists as he continues to resist opening his own restaurant, much to the dismay of Anton (who’d be hired instantly to run the front of the house!).  I am surprised that the Hotel Restaurant chefs and their respective establishments haven’t fared as well.  There was a time when Sans Souci (Renaissance) , Hyde Park, and Muse (Ritz) would garner a lot of attention.  Although Table 45 at the Intercontinental Hotel does well, it might well be due to Zach Bruell’s talent and ownership as opposed to any influence the hotel my have, if any.

Perhaps there is something to be said about the value of a recognizable and “famous” chef as the head of any restaurant, which appears rather obvious.  If true, does that mean part of the food trend has become more paparazzi than sincere food appreciation?  As long as these chefs maintain their food quality and efforts, their restaurants will avoid being considered as “places to be seen, but not necessarily places to have a great meal.”  Currently this core group of superstar chefs noted here remains consistent and true benchmarks of the Cleveland Food Scene.  The critical next phase will be the up and coming group of talented chefs within the next few years that will add another layer of complexity to the area, hopefully inspiring and challenging these chefs even further.  I truly believe that some of Cleveland’s best chefs have yet to be recognized, and continue to “secretly” cook and serve fabulous food daily without any attention…neither sought out nor received…because cooking is what they love to do…which is they key ingredient binding all great chefs together.

Recap and Review: Kitchen Nightmares Bazzini’s

by Monsieur Anton

At the Pass continues to follow the adventures of our boy Gordon Ramsay.  We plan to review and recap his televisions series Kitchen Nightmares.  Why?  Because it’s fun!  Ramsay is nothing if not entertaining, and watching the train wreck restaurants he helps each week makes us feel superior.

Have you ever seen a person who has been doing a job so long, without seeing any progress that they a have been beaten down to the point that it is less painful to go through the motions.  Take that person and give them additional duties they are ill equipped to handle, and ladies and gentlemen, meet Paul owner/chef of Bazzini’s in Ridgewood, New Jersey.  A former chef who worked in some high end Manhattan kitchens, he has opened his own place without realizing all the extra duties that go along with ownership.

Before we move on, a note about that last sentence.  I said a former chef for a reason.  Perhaps unlike any job this side of professional artist, being a chef requires a passion for what you do.  Once you lose that passion, you are no longer a chef.  You are a cook.  There is nothing wrong with being a cook.  A good line cook is worth their weight in gold, but they are not the creator of the cuisine, the one with the vision, the leader.  They are not a chef, and neither is Paul.  The passion long gone, faced with handling the many tasks of operating a restaurant he is like a beaten dog with his tail between his legs.

When making lunch for Ramsay, it’s clear that Paul has lost the vision and pride it takes to be a chef.  When a Michelin star chef tells you to go back and cook for him and with no other customers or distractions to worry about, and the best you can send out overcooked chicken, bland pasta and a risotto so goopy it sticks to the plate when the plate is spun upside down?  It’s time to hang up the toque my man.

The one saving grace of the meal was the dessert, made by the pastry chef Sharyn.  Sharyn is a brassy lass with a talent for producing wonderful desserts and a monster crush on the visiting British chef.  When Gordon says that she made love to the carrot cake, she was ready to ravish Gordo right then and there.

It’s time to fill in the rest of the cast.  Leslie is Paul’s long suffering wife who frets about the loss of her husband’s passion, and the dire financial condition of the restaurant.  Alex is the kind of lifer server who is always quick with a quip and relatively unfazed by the chaos around him.  If the joint goes down, he’ll move on to his next job at one of the 60 eateries in the four block radius.  And then there is Al, the sous chef.  We don’t know what to think of Al, since he never speaks.

During the first dinner service we get to see just what a deer in the headlights Paul really is.  As tickets flow to the rail, Paul just gets overwhelmed.  Last week on Kitchen Nightmares we a saw an inexperienced 21 year old woman put her head down and plow through the tickets.  Tonight we saw a chef, supposedly hardened by years in the Manhattan culinary world give up.  What’s wrong with this picture?

One of the first orders was for crab cakes.  It was at this point I could just picture Chef Gusteau jump out of his seat.  Crab cakes are a matter of pride for Gusteau, and I’m sure when he saw Paul’s crabcakes pre-made and pre-seared the day before he wanted to throw his shoe through the TV screen.  As diners (and I use the term loosely because they are not getting any food) complain about the hour wait for their orders, our erstwhile “former” chef just ruminates that “they just don’t know what he goes through.”  Of course they don’t!  And they don’t care, nor should they.  They just want the food they ordered.

At this point the bodacious baker Sharyn utters the line of the evening about Paul, “If he were a woman he’d have PMS 24/7.”  Perhaps fearing a PMS challenged chef, or weary from fending off Sharyn’s advances, Gordon pulls out a trick from his other show Hell’s Kitchen and shuts down dinner service.

The next day Gordon arrives and in his best Tony Robbins imitation seeks to motivate Paul.  He challenges him to cook him a great dish in 15 minutes.  Harkening back to a day when he actually had some pride, Paul decides to make fresh pasta, and it couldn’t have been easy with his wife hovering over him counting down the minutes.  We don’t get this many time updates on Iron Chef. Well despite the nagging wife, the pasta is delicious.  Seems Paul has a passion for pasta.

Having finally tasted a good dish from Paul, Gordon springs a surprise on him.  They are going to open for lunch.  Paul and Gordon will be in the kitchen with Leslie and much to her chagrin Sharyn handling the front of the house.  Sharyn complains that she has never served before, and does not know what to do on the floor, and atop that she doesn’t even care about the front of the house.  Typical back of the house attitude!  Despite it all, the lunch goes well, and we are led to believe there may be some hope for Bazzini’s.

Once a  newly made over, more modern and trendy restaurant is unveiled thanks to Ramsay’s little miracle worker stage hands it’s now time to see the new menu that is roughly half the size of the previous one.  This is all the better to help the focus challenged “chef” get the food out to the guests, and pasta is king here.  Hopefully the emphasis on pasta will help Paul focus and find his passion, but don’t bet on it.

As dinner service begins, it is clear that Paul has an issue with multi-tasking.  He is unable to work more than one ticket at a time.  Do you know what they call a chef who can’t work more than one ticket at a time?  Unemployed.  Paul is in the weeds and when he needs help, he turns to his trust sous chef the mute Al.  Has anybody seen Al?  He seems to have bolted without saying a word, which is àpropos since he’s barely spoken the whole episode.  So long.  See ya Al.  We hardly knew ya.

Alas, the show must go on, and with the help of Gordon and Sharyn, Paul manages to work his way through the tickets, serving all the guests.  Gordon finally thinks that with the pasta Bazzini’s now has an identity.  Now if only they had a chef that could handle pressure.  The troubling thing is that we have never seen Paul get through a dinner service without Ramsay’s help.  Unless he wants to replace Al with the world’s most expensive sous chef, he’s in for a world of hurt.

Things look even bleaker for Bazzini’s when we find out during the post-mortem, that while Paul hired a strong sous chef without Michelin stars, Sharyn, the one talented member of the kitchen tired of the menopausal chef and left to start her own baking business.  Gordon’s still not sure about Paul, but I am.  He ceased to be a chef long ago.

Chef Gusteau:  What a tough episode to watch.  You can’t help but feel for Chef Paul.  He is beaten down, but feels the pressure to do well and really wants to.  He cares, but doesn’t seem to have the tenacity to do more than care and stress.  I agree with Anton, the man just doesn’t have it anymore.  While you can say that through the drama of TV and choreographed footage, Chef Paul always looked frazzled, there were other indications that things weren’t right.  Did you notice that when the orders came in, Paul spent more time shuffling the tickets at the pass than cooking?  To me that looked like desperate and nervous fidgeting.  I can’t imagine he even was reading what was on the tickets.  As a cook, when stress hits you hard, your mind begins racing while your body/hands are doing things completely unrelated.  His hands may have been “organizing” his tickets, but his mind was thinking “oh my god, where do I begin; what am I doing?”  As we say in the industry, he was ass deep in the weeds.

I remember when I began cooking on the line.  I was on pantry station for the first time and responsible for salads and cold appetizers.  When the tickets started flying in, I recall the instant sense of panic and the feeling of drowning.  But I remembered the lesson I learned from culinary school.  When that sense of panic hits, the first thing you need to do is slow down!  Counterintuitive right?  Not really.  By taking that quick pause, you get your hands and mind back in sync.  From that point, I started looking at only 3-4 tickets at a time.  What were the similarities?  Could I make one really large order of a particular salad to satisfy the orders on several tickets at once?  Absolutely.  It takes about as long to make a dish for one order as it does a multiple number of orders.  In fact, that’s what Ramsay was telling Paul about the pasta orders when the panic occurred.  Paul was focused on the pasta orders for a 4-top, and Ramsay was telling him to mentally group it with the next ticket which was a 2-top ordering the same pasta.  Make one big batch and knock off pasta for 6 tickets.  Then Ramsay stepped in.  It was actually fun to watch him move fast and actually cook.  He spent more time cooking than reading tickets, which is the key when the food needs to get to the tables.  At that point, though, Paul assumed the role of a cook, and Ramsay was clearly the chef.

I believe there are only two scenarios in which Paul will succeed in this restaurant.  I have completely ruled out his ability to bounce back and assume the role of a chef again.  Therefore, either he hires a sous chef that is better than him who also has the ability to gently boss him around (making him the cook), or Paul needs to hire a chef and a sous chef to do all the work while he runs the pass and quality control.  Paul doesn’t seem to be able to make the connection from tickets to food to proper flow and timing…which is how a kitchen functions.

Final prediction…that weasel of a sous chef Al will never work in a restaurant again.  Imagine the nerve you must have to walk out in the middle of service, during TV taping, with Ramsay in the kitchen!  Every chef in the country will know that Al is the dumbass that walked out on his chef and Ramsay.  Even sex-starved Sharyn wouldn’t hire him to be her bitch, which says it all right there.

Super Bowl Super Foods

by Chef Gusteau

It is truly amazing how Super Bowl Parties have become just as much about the food and commercials as the football game itself.  When else can you have such a wide assortment of friends, TV, food and beverages?  That said, actually hosting a Super Bowl party can be stressful, particularly when faced with the menu quandary.  Is there an ideal Super Bowl menu?  Can you ever make enough food?  The answer to both is probably “no” but we can certainly delve into some fun ideas to help you plan for the big day!

To begin with, don’t get bogged down trying to do too much.  Everyone will have a great time, and your food will never make or break the fun to be had…unless, of course, you give everyone food poisoning.  Let’s start with avoiding that outcome as the first step.  Understand that whatever food you put out for your friends, you need to keep safe for many hours.  That means hot food needs to stay hot, and cool foods cold.  Bacteria and other little nasties grow in food that is within a range of temperatures between 40 and 140 degrees, affectionately called the “Danger Zone” (not the “End Zone” unless you eat too much).   Also, most food is safe at room temperature for about 2 hours.  At that point, you either need to heat that food up again to above 140, or cool it down to below 40.  Keep this information in mind when planning your menu.  Items like a potato/macaroni salad with a mayonnaise based dressing will be a challenge to keep safe without an ice bowl or constant maintenance.  Raw items like sushi will also be a challenge as you can imagine, as you can neither heat it up nor cool it down (chilled sushi rice tastes awful).  My secret to Super Bowl planning is my very own acronym “FIVE.”  Your menu should include Finger food, Interactive food, Variety of food, and Entertainment.

Assuming you want to encourage a social environment with lots of interactions and mingling, you wouldn’t want everyone sitting down to eat dinner in a formal manner.  Understanding this, you should somehow configure your menu to incorporate finger foods and small plate types of foods.  Skewered food is a great idea.  Mini hors d oeuvres are also quite popular.  Spaghetti and meatballs, while delicious, might not be the best idea…especially if you have a lot of light colored carpets.  Grazing is the right idea…a quick bite of something and then back to the commercials.

Interactive foods are my way of cheating, and can be yours as well.  By interactive, I actually am referring to making the guest do a lot of the work.  Sure, I could plate up a great entrée and give it to each guest.  Or, I could leave it out in separate bowls/plates, all the cooked components of an “entrée” and let the guest assemble it in any manner they choose.  In this way, each guest gets exactly what they want each time.  This leads us to the next idea, variety.

Ok, now that you have an idea of foods to either avoid or really watch, what should you make?  Well, one key that I have found successful is to serve a variety of foods.  This is one time when you really do have to make everyone happy…every cook’s nightmare.  But with the right approach, this challenge is very manageable, without having you cook 3 days ahead of time!  Expect that you will have many people with dietary restrictions, aversions, and, heaven forbid, perhaps even a vegetarian in the crowd.  I know scary stuff indeed.  So, in your menu planning, think about one red meat dish, one chicken type, one pasta, and some type of vegetarian component.  This approach should allow you to have a little something for everyone.

Finally, Entertainment!  Have fun with your menu!  Perhaps you and a friend could prepare signature items representative of the hometowns of each team playing.  Your guests could determine the winner at the end if you want to make it competitive.  Encourage your guests to bring in one small dish representative of their favorite team.  Devoted fans will be torn between cheering for their team and perhaps enjoying your delicious dish representative of their opponent!  True test of gourmet excellence for sure!

Ok, you might be saying (especially if you hang out with Anton at all, drinking of course) that Chef Gusteau is all talk.  Well I’ll have you know that I am expecting close to 50 to my house on SB day, and my menu is complete.  Here we go…and no copying Anton. I will even utilize my “FIVE” acronym to illustrate my points.

F: Rack of Lamb; when you serve this as single bone chops, it really does look like a meat lollipop.  For the vegetarians coming, I will have available roasted ratatouille tartlettes.

I: Do it yourself fajitas with all the sides.

V: About those fajitas, the proteins will be shrimp, flank steak, and chicken; for the vegetarians, I will have a wide assortment of roasted vegetables (portabellas, asparagus, etc).

E: It’s all about the chili.  I will have two types of chili, one with a kick of bayou in it, and one more on the Indy style of chili.

Sounds easy and fun.  I will probably add a few more dishes in each category, because as a Chef, I also believe that the “E” in the acronym also stands for “enough” – you can never have enough good food!

Have fun; enjoy the food and friends and commercials.  Thanks for checking in with us at At the Pass!  And for those loyal ATP fans out there, yes, Anton and I are cheering for different teams.

Monsieur Anton says:  Screw the game.  When do we eat!  I’m getting hungry looking at the menu.  Of course, no Super Bowl party is complete without liquid refreshment.  The obvious would be beer.  You’re going to need a representative beer for each home team.  New Orleans is easy.  Dixie Brewing’s Blackened Voodoo Ale, a dark lager is always a good choice.  Indy presents a bit of a challenge however.  The only beer from Indiana I know about is The Bee Creek Breweries Honey Wheat Ale. Good luck finding it.  If you can’t find the Bee Creek, I guess if you want to get disgusting you can play off the name and get some Colt 45!

Ah cocktails!  Colts fans can score with a Dreamy Blue with equal amounts of blue curacao and white crème de cacao to mimic the powder blue of the jerseys.  Saints faithful can delight in the classic New Orleans cocktail, the Sarazac made with rye whiskey, simple syrup, Peychaud bitters and the newly legal absinthe.

It is going to be a long day so be sure to stock some less filling light beers and soft drinks.

Culinary News of the Weird and Useful: February 4, 2010

By Monsieur Anton

Makin’ bacon Pork as an alternative to Viagra?  Argentinean president Christina Fernandez thinks so.  “I’ve just been told something I didn’t know; that eating pork improves your sex life … I’d say it’s a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra,” Fernandez told the pork producing council in Argentina.  She said her husband , former Argentinean president Nestor Kircher had recently ate some pork and, “things went very well that weekend, so it could well be true.”

Monsieur Anton says:  No wonder Michael Symon is so devoted to pork!  His eateries should be very busy on Valentine’s Day.  I can see it now. Dim the lights.  Light the candles.  Pour the wine.  Serve the pork roast.  I’m thinking a nice Pinot Noir for that pork.  Just don’t tell my rabbi.

Chef Gusteau:  Pork…no further comment needed.

No rotten tomatoes here Indian scientists have developed a tomato that stays fresh for up to a month longer than a naturally grown one.  The same method, manipulating two enzymes that ripen the fruit, can theoretically be used on other fruits like bananas and mangoes.

Monsieur Anton:  I can see the benefit of this. Many people go hungry because food goes bad before it gets to them.  That said, this kind of genetic modification may have ramifications that we may not learn about until much farther down the line.

Chef Gusteau: While I appreciate advancements in food technology, I find it hard to appreciate the need for a tomato that lasts a month before use.  What are you waiting for when you buy that tomato? Maybe on the off chance you make salsa in the next three weeks or so?  I like to buy my produce fresh, and for use within a day, maybe two, if I get too busy to cook with those items that same night.  I can see how grocery stores may like the idea of buying produce that has been genetically engineered to stay “fresh” for a month on shelves, but that doesn’t mean it’s best for everyone else.  While I am not a scientist in any right, I have to believe that the same enzymes that ripen fruit are also responsible in some way for things like taste and nutrition.

I hear the oysters are selling very well The Toronto Star Reports that local restaurant Mildred’s Temple Kitchen is having an interesting promotion for Valentine’s Day.  They are actually encouraging couples to have a romantic tryst in their unisex restrooms.  Their website says that its four modern bathrooms that light up outside when occupied should be one of the “101 places to have sex before you die.”  It goes on to say that diners should “check out Mildred’s Sexy bathrooms throughout the weekend of Big Love.  You get the picture.”  There will be a maid on hand for clean up between uses.  The Toronto Public Health Department is fine with it as long as nothing goes on in the kitchen.

Monsieur Anton:  Where do I begin?  I guess more disgusting things go on in the bathroom.  Pitty the poor server who has to track down their guests because their food is getting cold.

Chef Gusteau:  What is this?  A restaurant or a hotel/brothel available by the hour?  I certainly hope no one actually needs to use the restrooms that night as I am sure anyone entering together with a close friend will probably take their sweet time.  Why not just save the trouble and drape a sheet around each table so the guests don’t have to leave their food to squeeze in a quickie.  And my god, how can you feel anything but intense pity for that poor maid that has to clean up between “uses?”  Funny that Anton felt pity for the server and not the maid…he can be so focused on the front of the house sometimes!  To go one step even further and more disgusting (because I can do that sometimes), imagine if they have someone in the restrooms waiting for you.  Instead of giving you a towel or a spritz of cologne, they’ll be handing out condoms and sexual aids…sounds wonderful, right?

Dr Pepper at market price To commemorate the 125^th anniversary of Dr Pepper the company not only rang the ceremonial bell at the New York Stock Exchange to begin the day’s trading, they seized the moment for a little guerilla marketing.  The company had old spokesperson David Naughton and a group of dancers recreate the old “I’m a Pepper” song and dance number on the floor of the exchange in a flash mob to the bemusement of many of the traders.  You can check out video of the event here.

Monsieur Anton:  Now I can’t get that damn song out of my head.  Mr. Naughton is not as sprightly as he was in the old days, wisely leaving the dancing to the younger folks.

Chef Gusteau:  I’m confused.  Doesn’t Dr Pepper taste like crap?  I thought it died the same death (or should have) as Fanta and Shasta.

Fluffy and Fido breathe a sigh of relief Under a new law going to Parliament in April it will be illegal to eat dog or cat meat in China.  The penalty for eating the forbidden meat would be $735 and up to 15 days in prison for the consumer and $7,325 for the business.  Dog meat has long been considered by some in China to bring warmth and is used in stews during the winter months.  Cat is less popular because of an old superstition that the feline will come back at night to retaliate.

Monsieur Anton:  Can’t say as I blame the ghost cat for haunting the diner.  As a lover of both cats and dogs, I applaud the new law, but let’s not be too harsh on the Chinese.  Their culture is much different from ours and they may consider some of our diet to be offensive.  That said, they better keep their chopsticks away from my pets.

Chef Gusteau: Not sure how bad the meat shortage must be to have to resort to, and even prefer, dog and cat meat.  I guess they must get tired of all that fresh seafood available year round.

The second week in February is national Pizza Bake Week

Thursday February 4^th…National Homemade Soup Day

Friday February 5^th…National Chocolate Fondue Day

Saturday February 6^th…Nutella Day

Sunday February 7^th…National Fettuccini Alfredo Day

Monday February 8^th…Molasses Bar Day

Tuesday February 9^th …Pizza Pie Day and National Bagels and Lox Day

Wednesday February 10^th…Cream Cheese Brownie Day

And let us not forget February 11, Chef Gusteau’s Birthday!!!!  Send him a birthday wish, or preferably a bottle of Scotch…single malt, Speyside, etc.

“The disparity between a restaurant’s price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill.” ~ Bryan Miller

Review and Recap: Kitchen Nightmares: February 2, 2010

By Monsieur Anton

At the Pass continues to follow the adventures of our boy Gordon Ramsay.  We plan to review and recap his televisions series Kitchen Nightmares.  Why?  Because it’s fun!  Ramsay is nothing if not entertaining, and watching the train wreck restaurants he helps each week makes us feel superior.

Have you ever tried to teach an old dog new tricks?  Neither have I, but they tell me you can’t do it.  Especially an ornery old dog like Adele, one of the owners of Flamango’s in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey.  No that’s not a typo.  Adele and her daughter Cheryl wanted to open a Florida style restaurant in the Garden state, so” Fla” for Florida, and “mangos” for, I don’t know what, and bazinga, we have Flamango’s.  As if it wasn’t enough to have a mangled name, the décor looks like it came from the gift shop of some second-rate theme park.

The problems go much deeper than some tacky tikis however, and it starts at the top with owner Adele who is the crankiest old hag you’d never want to meet.  She and her long-suffering husband Bill (I say long-suffering, because to live with this woman must be like booking a suite at Guantanamo Bay) have had a series of successful diners.  Adele convinces the 70 year old Bill to take their retirement money and along with their still living at home 42 year old daughter Cheryl open Flamango’s.  Come on now, hasn’t Bill who seems like a nice guy been through enough, having owned four restaurants and putting up with Adele for all these years?  Let the man enjoy his golden years.

I can see the motivation.  Why wouldn’t you want to set up Cheryl so you can get her the hell out the house already?  Cheryl it seems landed on Kitchen Nightmares as her second choice for a reality show.  With all the hairspray, lip gloss and makeup, it’s obvious she had her heart set on Jersey Shore.

Why isn’t Flamango’s successful?  Let me count the ways.  Adele and Cheryl somehow think that more is better and have opened an establishment with more tacky nick knacks to go along with a huge menu that their new chef Bryan cannot hope to execute.  Oh yeah, after the obligatory site of Ramsay spitting out food we are led to believe the cuisine is not quite up to snuff.  One other problem.  Adele’s a bitch.  She treats her staff like garbage.  Why they continue to work there is a question for the reality TV gods.

During the first evening’s dinner service we find out that Adele’s lack of people skills extends to her customers.  She treats them with the same disdain she has for her employees.  The show has been on for all of fifteen minutes and I can save Gordon a lot of time repairing this particular nightmare.  Adele, meet Dr. Kevorkian.

At the staff meeting Ramsay, much to Adele and Cheryl’s horror unveils his plan to simplify the menu so that Chef Bryan can better execute it. Remember, more is better in the eyes of these two women.  When the staff chimes in with agreement, Adele snaps at them and we want to slap this old dog with a rolled up newspaper.  Cheryl while not happy is at least willing to listen since she is not quite as old a dog and therefore not as set in her ways. As Bill stands around with a “see what I’ve been dealing with all these years” look on his face we go to commercial we are told of a “fire storm” to come and are treated to a picture of the Flamango’s sign in flames.

On day two Chef Bryan is told he can create a special for tonight’s dinner.  He comes up with Chicken Jubilee, and while it sounds hokey, it looks good.  The beleaguered and hard working Bill is allowed to put his years of diner experience to use making meatloaf.   He seems so happy in the in the kitchen, probably because Adele is not there.

The dinner service goes as you would expect.  The specials sell well, the old menu is a mess, and Adele is cranky.  A frustrated Gordon takes solace in a conversation with a rather large tiki. The tiki proves to have better people skills than Adele.

After dinner service Ramsay makes sweeping changes.  He has everyone pick up a chair or some other refugee from a bad garage sale and take it outside where with the help of the fire department we are treated to the blaze we’ve seen since previews following last week’s show.  While all present seem to enjoy the bonfire, Adele is none too pleased.  Someone must have forgotten the wieners and marshmallows.

As everyone shows up for work the next day en masse (do they meet for coffee before coming to work?) Ramsay unveils the new sign and concept for the eatery.  Farewell the spell-check challenged Flamango’s and hello…The Junction.   The Junction as we are told is homage not only to the nearby railroad tracks, but as a place where people meet.  The new concept is going to be upscale comfort food in the newly sleek and airy ambiance of the restaurant.  Everyone is excited, even Cheryl who seems to be loosening up to the point that she’s forgone the hairspray and put her hair into a pony tail.  Of course Adele hates it.  How do we know?  She says she “hates it” seven times in ten seconds.

During dinner service number three, to the relief of all the guests in the dining room, Adele is intent to stay in the kitchen.  Once out on the floor, the sourpuss complains to otherwise happy diners about all the changes.  When she’s not complaining, she’s behind the counter with a scowl on her face.  Taking one for the team, at Gordon’s behest Bill goes to try to get Adele to smile.  Hasn’t this man been through enough?  As a testament to Bill’s likeability, Adele give in and barely cracks a Mona Lisa smile realizing that happy customers means more money and a chance for Bill to retire by age 90.

Chef Gusteau: In keeping with the drinking game theme, downing a shot every time Adele says “hate” would be deadly to one’s health.  This show was comical in that Adele has to be acting.  No one, other than my mother-in-law, could be this evil and unhappy.  She actually swears at a customer under her breath while walking away from their table, and then tells her husband “Screw them [customers].”  I would have totally understood if Bill were ever to run himself over with one of the larger combines on his farm to escape this woman.  I imagine the devil himself would cringe at the sound of her name.  In fact, I was hoping someone had thrown her into the fire with the alligator statue.  There is no question at all why the restaurant is getting pummeled and losing money daily.  One note I had regarding Chef Ryan was that even though both he and Ramsay agreed the menu was ridiculous, technically Ryan should have been able to properly cook tenderloin to the correct temperature, and send out fish that wasn’t overcooked and dry.  I’m not sure I buy the excuse that the vast menu spread him too thin to cook properly.  To be late with plating, sure.  Improperly prepared food, never a good excuse.

I did enjoy watching Ramsay and Chef Ryan bond in this episode.  Ramsay displayed trust and confidence in the new chef, although it looked like he developed the entire new menu without checking with him at all…pulling an “Adele” in his own right.  The restaurant did well and seems poised to continue on its successful track…until the show ends with a note that Adele returned to her old ways.  I actually give this restaurant a shorter lifespan than the previous show with that Potato Café.  Why so bleak Chef Gusteau?  Because Adele will not change, and no one seems able to stand up to her.  She will bully everyone around to get her way, even though she is wrong 99.99% of the time.  Now that the servers and cooking staff have seen the light, and realize how good things can be, they will all be quick to quit the next time Adele acts up (probably in a day or two).

In any case, an enjoyable show that displayed the likeable side of Ramsay and the humorous side of human nature.  Based on the previews for next week, it looks like Ramsay will be back to his old ways of yelling at cooks/chefs.  Might be fun…perhaps this will be the time another chef punches Ramsay’s lights out?